The Nurtured Heart Approach
As a licensed Art Therapist and mother of three littles, I know that in the whirlwind of parenting, we can find ourselves judging emotions, feeling overwhelmed, and wondering if there is a better way. That’s why I’m so thankful to have stumbled upon The Nurtured Heart Approach. My own therapist recommended that I look into it, and now I’m hooked! So much so I sent our entire clinical team at Davenport Creative Arts Therapy will be certified Nurtured Heart Practitioners!
What is the Nurtured Heart Approach?
The Nurtured Heart Approach® (NHA) is a therapeutic method developed by Howard Glasser to help children and adults with challenging behaviors. It is behavior inspiration, instead of behavior management. The approach focuses on creating connected relationships, emphasizing positive behavior, and transforming difficult experiences. The approach encapsulates the power of our emotional intensity and redirects it towards cultivating positive behaviors and relationships.
At its core, the Nurtured Heart Approach refuses to reward negativity. Instead, it honors the truth, not the narrative we presume or fear. It's about eloquently describing what's right with exuberance and vigor, offering praise for the smallest positive actions, and fueling the desired behaviors with our attention.
Children Crave Connection
Children crave their parents' energy, attention, and emotional intensity. They seek connection, and they instinctively know where to find it. This approach strategically chooses what to energize and what not to, debunking the myth that all together ignoring certain behaviors is the way to go. The Nurtured Heart Approach emphasizes that completely ignoring behaviors is counterproductive. Addressing negative behaviors involves acknowledging them unceremoniously and redirecting with affirmations for even the smallest positive shift. It's about recognizing their efforts, guiding them towards better choices, even amid emotional turmoil. It urges us to be less poetic when faced with disrespect, turning those moments into opportunities for connection and growth.
Choose What To Energize
One of the most profound aspects of this approach is its recognition of our capacity for energy and emotional intensity. It's a beacon that prompts reflection: when do we dispense those energetic "$100 bills"? In the world of parenting, where our reactions often shape the behavior we see, this approach challenges us to be intentional about where we channel our energy. In the world of relationships, kids are adept at seeking what gets them that connection. When we energize positive behavior, we reinforce the foundation of a strong relationship, guiding them towards making better choices. Moreover, the approach teaches us that pinpointing what's wrong isn't the challenge—it's the responses that are energized that matter. It flips the script, showcasing how responses charged with energy and positivity yield more effective results than those influenced by negativity.
However, this approach doesn't dismiss intensity. Instead, it harnesses it. It acknowledges that when adults stray from the ideal path, it's captivating; it's an opportunity for growth and learning. Conversely, when things go right, it's often perceived as mundane. But how do we build this power, this ability to channel intensity effectively? The answer lies in teaching kids to harness their intensity positively.
Importantly, it re-balances attention, energy, and relationships. Children are acutely aware of when they receive more or less attention and energy. It's not about the treats or rewards; it's about us—the caregivers—embodying and instilling positive connection.
In essence, the Nurtured Heart Approach is a testament to the transformative power of redirecting emotional intensity and energy towards fostering positivity, connection, and resilience in children. It's a reminder that our reactions, our intentional choices, are the real catalysts for positive change.
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